Brown Eyes

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I knew what was coming, I knew what you’d say, and I knew how I’d feel about it.

I knew that I’d cry, I knew that you’d tell me I’ll be okay, and I knew that I wouldn’t.

I knew you would tell me that you’d love me forever, I knew that you’d tell me that we’d still be friends, I knew that my heart would break.

I only wish that when you decided to leave me standing there alone that you could have taken all of the memories with you.

I don’t want to remember.

I wish that you took all the pictures from my phone that I can’t bring myself to delete, I wish you took all the letters that you wrote me that hide now beneath my bed, I wish you took back every smile you put on my face.

I don’t want to remember.

I wish you took every “I love you” that runs circles through my head, and I wish you took every cold winters night we’d spend cuddling lost in each other’s eyes.

I wish you took everything about the last three years with you, because even though you are gone it still haunts me. Every now and again I see you and I holding hands on the sofa and it hurts my heart when I curl up there alone.

I still smell your cologne in our old bedroom; and sometimes I imagine your clothes still scrunched up on the floor.

But the worst, the very worst, is when I roll over in the night still half asleep and reach for you only to find that you aren’t there. Because I wake up in a daze looking for you, and when I can’t find you I realise that you chose not to be here and you chose to let me walk the road of life without you. And life is full of choices but how I wish you’d chosen to face the world with me.

I wish you took me with you the night you left.

I don’t want to remember.”

– The night you left. (via missinyouiskillingme)